Ok, you asked for it. I’m going to spill the tea. I’ve been a bridesmaid four times and shot almost a hundred weddings so I’ve seen everything. There are a few truths that I think everyone planning their wedding should know.

size matters

Of all the married people I know not one of them has ever said that they wished they had a bigger wedding. Actually most people say that they wish they had a smaller wedding. The more guests that you invite to your wedding the less the day is about you and your partner and the more it becomes about your guests. Wedding days are tiring and if you have to greet and chat with a hundred or even two hundred people (if we’re ever allowed to be in a room with that many people again) you will be completely exhausted and it doesn’t leave much time to have fun and let loose. Of course everyone is telling you to have a big wedding, because they want to be invited but you do you. Due to Covid I shot many micro weddings this year with only a few guests and they were actually some of my absolute favourite days, and I think the bride and groom would agree. Imagine getting ready together at home, exchanging your vows in front of your parents and best friends, taking some banger photos and then going home and eating pizza together on the couch. Sounds perfect to me.

bitches be cray

You might have ten best girlfriends but they don’t all need to be your bridesmaid. You can still find a way to include them in your day but in my experience the more people you have in your wedding party the more drama there is. Trust me, there is always drama. Someone left her phone in the limo, someone is crying in the bathroom because she doesn’t like her makeup, someone forgot her underwear and has to run to the mall hours before the wedding and all of a sudden your day is spent dealing with someone else’s issue. The only ones more dramatic than your besties are moms, mother-in-laws and sisters. Keep your circle small and you’ll have a much more relaxing day.

It’s not going to be perfect

Sorry, but it won’t. Something will go wrong, it always does. Every single wedding I’ve ever been to has had a hiccup. One bride got pooped on by a bird, people have had to move their entire weddings due to weather, brides have hated their makeup and cried in the bathroom, groomsmen have gotten so drunk they missed the ceremony, someone forgot the rings. It will not go exactly according to plan and that’s ok. The looser your timeline is for the day the easier it is to embrace and roll with the punches. Even though your plans will inevitably change your day will still be perfect.

Mo Money Mo problems

You don’t need to spend a fortune to have the best day ever. It blows my mind that some couples spend the equivalent of a house downpayment on ONE day. Figure out what means the most to you and then spend money on that. Don’t want to spend $150 per plate on a mediocre meal? Hire a food truck. Don’t want to spend a fortune on a cake? Ask your grandma to bake you a pie. Also circling back to size, the less guests you have the more you can spend on those details that mean the most to you. I’ve seen couples try to host a two hundred person wedding on a tight budget and it just doesn’t work. Quality over quantity. If your dream venue is out of your budget, get married on a weekday. If your dream dress is out of your league, see if you can buy the sample. Do not spend your life savings on your wedding, you don’t need to!

write your own damn rules

Your wedding is your day so you can do whatever the hell you want. There are no wedding rules anymore and my favourite days are the ones without any. I love when couples get ready together, walk each other down the aisle or say screw it and elope. If Carrie Bradshaw can marry Big at city hall in a no name dress and then have brunch with her friends after so can you.

don’t have an open bar

Well do if you want, but be prepared for people to get rowdy, like really rowdy. If there is an open bar your guests will take full advantage. I once had a wedding guest pass out at the table beside me, before the first course was even served. If you do choose to go that route make sure the bar is closed for dinner and during speeches. There is nothing worse than a bunch of drunken guests interrupting the speeches. Also an open bar and an open mic definitely do not mix.

speeches can be a buzz kill

… and don’t even get me started on slideshows. With that said I’ve also heard some absolutely amazing speeches that leave me crying behind my camera. But less is definitely more. You do not need an hour of speeches nor do your guests want to sit and listen to your dad ramble on about that summer when you were 8. Also, your dad (it’s always the dad) will talk for at least twice as long as you tell him to.

The right vendors can make or break your day

Imagine standing in front of all your friends and family looking into the eyes of your groom, ready to exchange your vows and the officiant calls you by the completely wrong name. Multiple times. Until you have to interrupt her and remind her of your actual name. Romantic right? The memories of your day will include every single person that you choose to be a part of it so choose wisely. Make sure that you hire trusted professionals and do your research. Ask for reviews from past clients. Meet with them in person, not just over the phone. Also, a little sidebar, the officiant will be in most of the photos of your ceremony. If you want an old man in a brown suit with hair growing out of his ears front and centre in those, message me and I’ll give you his name. But if you want someone that shows up on time, dressed nicely and actually remembers your name I know a few of those too. I also think its completely reasonable to ask them to wear black or something that matches your vibe. I once had an officiant wear a bright red dress and it stands out in every photo.

don’t get a spray tan

Just don’t. Unless you are making everyone that you will be standing next to, including your groom get one then you will look like you just got back from Hawaii and everyone else will be pasty. You cannot fix that in Photoshop. I’ve only ever had two brides who didn’t love their photos and both times it was because they got a spray tan and thought they looked orange in the photos. Well guess what, they looked orange in real life too. You look amazing as you are.

the photos are the most important part of the day

Ok maybe not the MOST important but it’s my blog post so I can write what I want. After all is said and done and you wake up with a hangover the next morning all that you’ll have left are your memories and the photos. So do your research, meet with photographers, ask questions and find the one that best fits your personality and style. Your photographer wants you to have the best photos of your day so the more you include them in the planning process and ask their opinions on timelines etc. the better your photos will be. Also, we work really hard to capture every important moment and deliver an amazing gallery so show us some love after you receive them. I’m not talking about gifts. (Although we do love gifts.) a glowing Google review is priceless.

Bottom line, your wedding shouldn’t be stressful. If the planning process is overwhelming, hire a planner or say fuck it and elope. If you’re on a tight budget, get married in your parents backyard and go for brunch after. If a potential guest is driving you nuts, you do not have to invite them. It’s your day so you can do whatever you want. It should be a reflection of you and your partner. Happy planning!